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The Jones

by Captain Monk

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1.
Smooth Sailing 06:03
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You got what you paid for A drunk a thief an idiot And all the joy that comes with it Young and dumb and bright eyed Fresh face, fresh mouth, and rudderless All gas, no breaks, vinegar and piss You still want it You put it all on red and jumped the curb Blood and guts we laugh when we get hurt It's all smooth sailing, smooth sailing Take the trash out in the rain and watch The gutters fill and breach and wash the earth It's all smooth sailing, smooth sailing Careful what you wish for Some cretins and a bag of nerves A castle full of holes and dirt Tried to make it perfect Filled buckets up with shit and then Smiled as we both stepped into them You still want it You put it all on red and jumped the curb Blood and guts we laugh when we get hurt It's all smooth sailing, smooth sailing Take the trash out in the rain and watch The gutters fill and breach and wash the earth It's all smooth sailing, smooth sailing I know what you're made of You take a lot to put down Varmints creeping through the window of My kingdom and crown Shake rattle roll the carpet Full of screws full of clowns Scratching nails and clawing Screaming at the ceiling Tetanus lockjaw reeling Said you want it, got to have it This piss and shit filled pit of static It's all smooth sailing, smooth sailing Make it lovely, put some signs up Live and laugh and love this fuck up It's all smooth sailing, smooth sailing It's all smooth sailing It's all smooth sailing
2.
The Jones 03:49
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Cellophane glasses Picture book eyes Stuffed close the ear holes Nose filled with flies Say nothing to no one Jell-o and meatloaf Drown it in wine So crisp and relentless Crumbling smile Slather your face on Guzzle your stones Just keep on keeping up with the Jones Put it in and pull it out and you'll feel better Fill your cup swallow it down and you'll feel fine Paisley prints and daisies in the garden Mother's little helpers to closet all the corpses Shine up your grill meat Pretend you're not alone Just keep on keeping up with the Jones Put it in and pull it out and you'll feel better Fill your cup swallow it down and you'll feel fine A little something to sleep at night A Chrysler and satin curtains Honey will be home shortly Some lime with his tanqueray He's had such a long day selling vacuum cleaners, he'll be seething Put it in and pull it out and you'll feel better Fill your cup swallow it down and you'll feel fine Put it in and pull it out and you'll feel better Fill your cup swallow it down and you'll feel fine
3.
Sugar 05:53
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Bury the hatchet where I found it Right where my arm snapped when I fell After my friends told me I'm ugly Carry my liver up the driveway Squeeze it til' all the juice runs out Delivery it to my unborn baby Feel it like a cricket crawled up my cuff and rubbed its legs Driving me up the wall It's easier to crush it with a fist you only punish It's my own damn fault Slip it down my throat Dilate and float Give me all the green ones And some coke Fry them up in Szechuan Cram them down my gullet til I have a stroke I've got a Funnel for the filling A doggy bag that's spilling Into the backseat of my 1986 Peugeot It barely goes Stare at the ceiling while I fidget Flicking my boogers behind the couch Thinking of times I said some dumb shit Take out the trash bag in my boxers Sit in the shower for awhile Hoping the steam fills up my empty heart Feel it like a cricket crawled up my cuff and rubbed its legs Driving me up the wall It's easier to crush it with a fist you only punish It's my own damn fault Slip it down my throat Dilate and float Give me all the green ones And some coke Fry them up in Szechuan Cram them down my gullet til I have a stroke I've got a Funnel for the filling A doggy bag that's spilling Into the backseat of my 1986 Peugeot
4.
Sniff 03:53
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The gas fumes took out legions The paint chips off the wall The leaves will turn and you'll hurt in the fall The dreams return in winter Come crawling out your bones The light blinks your eyes this house is not your home The mind can bend and rupture The heart can up and burst The springs will rust and slowly turn to dirt The lead seeps through the cracks and slowly works it's magic Loosens up the fillings in your mouth The reflections bouncing off the mirror are blinding And it hurts you more than anyone can bare So you stuff it down a hole and try to find someone who cares But we've all got our own farts to sniff at midnight Melted from the asphalt Plastered by the glue And everyone's staring at you The hosts bile drips down constant and relentless slowly creeping through your innards out your mouth The reflections bouncing off the mirror are blinding And it hurts you more than anyone can bare So you stuff it down a hole and try to find someone who cares But we've all got our own farts to sniff at midnight Melted from the asphalt Plastered by the glue And everyone's staring at you Rotten from the chemtrails Scrambled by the nukes And everyone's staring at you Agents in the cable Terror at your door And everyone's staring at you
5.
Worms 05:33
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I don't care about it buddy I ain't picking up the phone I've got food for days and a couch to lay Gonna sit back and watch my belly grow I'm so busy, so busy, just want you to know That I've got a blister and some Cheetos So I ain't picking up the phone Pick at the lint under my toenails Check on the worms out in the yard Watch some grown men get concussed again Stand up too quick I'm seeing stars I'm so busy, so busy just want you to know I've got some real good shit brewing so I ain't picking up the phone I see your number calling I ain't doing a goddamn thing Didn't want nobody calling didn't want nobody interrupting me I saw your call, I let it ring, so you don't know that ain't busy Don't have shit to do but here's the thing You don't know that I ain't busy Fresh pots and fish sticks through the day My teeth and tongue are nicely stained I'm really busy, it's just so hard to stay awake I see your number calling I ain't doing a goddamn thing Didn't want nobody calling didn't want nobody interrupting me I saw your call, I let it ring, so you don't know that ain't busy Don't have shit to do but here's the thing You don't know that I ain't busy I'm sitting right here here waiting for the buzzing to end Oh no I tripped and touched the wrong thing (oh hey man how's it going) Didn't want to pick up the telephone, can't hear you Didn't want to, believe me, I pushed the wrong button Didn't want to, you're talking, still talking, still talking, Didn't want to pick up the phone I saw your call, I let it ring, so you don't know that ain't busy Don't have shit to do but here's the thing You don't know that I ain't busy I saw your call, I let it ring, so you don't know that ain't busy Don't have shit to do but here's the thing You don't know that I ain't busy
6.
Loose Lips 04:28
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Make hate and raise the axes Nice to finally find your spine Loose lips sink ships, it happens all the time I said it cuz it's funny It's funny cause it's true Loose lips sink ships, it all depends on you And I can't stop the bleeding It never meant that much to me Some priveledged information Some comrades in the fray Loose lips sink ships it happens every day and I can't stop the bleeding It never meant that much to me Flapping my gums and gnawing Don't want to face the consequences of my teeth and tongue Licked the sun, it's so fun I can't stop the bleeding, though I'm barely breathing I can't stop the bleeding, though I'm barely breathing I can't stop the bleeding, though I'm barely breathing I can't stop the bleeding It never meant that much to me Flapping my gums and gnawing Don't want to face the consequences of my teeth and tongue Licked the sun, it's so fun I can't stop the bleeding, though I'm barely breathing I can't stop the bleeding Loose lips they sink ships Loose lips they sink ships Loose lips they sink ships It happens every day
7.
Captain's Orders 03:05
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8.
Salt 04:39
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Hey mister can you help me? I'm hurtin bad Change clinking out my pockets, a bitter man Spackle my throne just like you own it, you owned it good Pouring paint down through the floorboards, salt the wound Stuff the leper in an old brown paper bag You're shaking down the wrong tree's burnin from both ends Did you lose my number? I bet you did Glazed, squinting through your readers, a bitter man Spackle your thrown and call the counsel, he'll fix you good Throwing your weight you ate a mouthful, you ate your foot Stuff the leper in an old brown paper bag You're shaking down the wrong tree's burning from both ends (Mistaking me for someone special) Tripping on a busted mantle, spewing from both ends (Mistaking me for someone who cares) Loosen up your hole Feed me what you owe You're shaking down the wrong tree's burning from both ends (Mistaking me for someone special) Tripping on a busted mantle, spewing from both ends (Mistaking me for someone who cares)
9.
Cricket 05:55
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Bury the hatchet where I found it Right where my arm snapped when I fell After my friends told me I'm ugly Carry my liver up the driveway Squeeze it til' all the juice runs out Delivery it to my unborn baby Feel it like a cricket crawled up my cuff and rubbed its legs Driving me up the wall It's easier to crush it with a fist you only punish It's my own damn fault Slip it down my throat Dilate and float Give me all the green ones And some coke Fry them up in Szechuan Cram them down my gullet til I have a stroke I've got a Funnel for the filling A doggy bag that's spilling Into the backseat of my 1986 Peugeot It barely goes Stare at the ceiling while I fidget Flicking my boogers behind the couch Thinking of times I said some dumb shit Take out the trash bag in my boxers Sit in the shower for awhile Hoping the steam fills up my empty heart Feel it like a cricket crawled up my cuff and rubbed its legs Driving me up the wall It's easier to crush it with a fist you only punish It's my own damn fault Slip it down my throat Dilate and float Give me all the green ones And some coke Fry them up in Szechuan Cram them down my gullet til I have a stroke I've got a Funnel for the filling A doggy bag that's spilling Into the backseat of my 1986 Peugeot
10.
Doesn't Even Matter 05:53
lyrics
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Coming down from Ashland I was coming down from flying Coming up with something so unreal That I must be lying Put it down on paper Put it down in ink Change it with the wind, the rising tide Give it the kitchen sink Thank god your mama's loaded so we're ok honey Pack the Benz let's get on the road Taking nothing but chances Melodies to open up your third eye's mind We know all that glitters is gold Taking it all for granted 'Cause if we don't make it it doesn't even matter at all My folks they know some people Some folks we oughta meet You're looking just like your mothers child Out there in Joshua Tree Thank god your mama's loaded so we're ok honey Pack the Benz let's get on the road Taking nothing but chances Melodies to open up your third eye's mind We know all that glitters is gold Taking it all for granted 'Cause if we don't make it it doesn't even matter at all Promised I'm coming back a better man I couldn't even bear the pain Knowing that I did something honest, man It's just easier to steal than start again Thank god your mama's loaded so we're ok honey Pack the Benz let's get on the road Taking nothing but chances Melodies to open up your third eye's mind We know all that glitters is gold Taking it all for granted 'Cause if we don't make it it doesn't even matter If we don't make it it doesn't even matter at all And if we don't make it it doesn't even matter If we don't make it it doesn't even matter at all 'Cause if we don't make it it doesn't even matter Yeah we don't make it it doesn't even matter at all 'Cause if we don't make it it doesn't even matter If we don't make it it doesn't even matter at all Yeah if we don't make it it doesn't even matter If we don't make it it doesn't even matter at all

about

Captain Monk's sophomore effort, The Jones is heavy on the signature dark, funky, alt rock that Captain Monk is known for while also throwing in some curveballs to keep things interesting.

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released February 23, 2024

Mixed and mastered by Jon Uhland at Studio 1225

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Captain Monk Oakland, California

Captain Monk is the solo project for California's Bay Area native and multi-instrumentalist Jackson Allen.

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